I regularly observe a problem that massively affects my individual and collective clients: we no longer have time to talk to each other orally.
20 years ago when you called someone, you had a good chance that the person would pick up their phone. Or even responds to a written or voice message. Today it has become quite exceptional. Except in an emergency. Generating its share of stress.
20 years ago when a company was called via the switchboard, a person in the flesh filtered or put in touch with the requested correspondent, according to the instructions given to him. Today we come across a voice standard, which offers many options… As long as what is needed corresponds to one of the options !!! Or also sometimes on a saturated voicemail. Generating its share of stress.
With my eyes and my experience as a systemic coach, and I observe that it is when humans talk to each other, really, that questions are unraveled, that creativity is offered, on small things or more complex issues.
What does this overload of tasks in days that are always only 24 hours, prevent? What does it allow? What balance would it be interesting to strive for, both on the individual and systemic dimensions? What have you done in the last 24 hours to nurture your 3 privileged relationships in your personal life, in your professional life? And during these last 7 days? What about your relationship with yourself?
Just this morning I was amazed by the ability of my client's pet to be connected to its inner state. And to serve as a revealer, or mirror of this emotional state.
Now that coaching or supervision sessions are regularly held via zoom, at my clients' homes, pets are entering the coaching dance.
Indeed, they share with us, mammals like them, instinctive governance and the capacity for emotional resonance, or empathy.So, even before the customer knew how to name his emotion, his pet gave him signals. Barking, agitation, interposition between the customer and the screen, quiet activity in his corner, falling asleep… And these signals are valuable to question: what is happening right now? What is this a sign of?
And you, how do you use these resources? For yourself, or for your clients – if you are a coach – ? How do you make yourself available to these subtle and informative signals?
Stress is an instinctive reaction of the body for the survival of the individual, in the face of a danger of death. It is shared by all mammals.
However, stress today is no longer mainly triggered by this archaic reason, but by multiple factors, emotional, cognitive, social, experiences, beliefs, impactful situations …
Thus, chronic stress can settle permanently, bringing the individual to a new balance, higher than that of complete calm -homeostatic balance-. The offset between these two levels is called the allostatic charge.
Because of its installation over a long period of time, it generates global wear, a price paid for adaptation to the demands of the environment, physiological and behavioral adaptation.
The impact study carried out in 2020-2021 by OpenMind Neurotechnologies on performance and post-Covid mental health quantifies the degradation of certain human skills.
The challenge is to become aware of this state of affairs, and to find strategies to return to homeostatic balance.
The Cognitive and Emotional Assessment is an innovative tool, developed by OpenMind Neurotechnologies, which allows you to quickly access in a fun and powerful way keys to reading your functioning in the face of uncertain and unpredictable situations.
What An-Dante’s customers are saying
during the Virtual Reality experience : “very pleasant”, “an interesting immersive experience”, “I am not used to playing with a controller”, “I saw my reactions to stressful situations”, “it allowed me to approach meditation in an interesting way”, “It was too short! I’m not a player I was almost frustrated not to continue”…
at the end of the debrief : “it was very useful to link data to my concrete situations”, “I better understand my modes of operation”, “sharing in context in an interactive way is very interesting”, “it gives analytical consistency to what I feel”…
The challenge of chronic stress is now major. Understanding one’s personal mode of functioning and accessing one’s abilities to return homeostasis balance is essential. In particular to preserve his health and his immune system, cadiovascular, inflammatory, but also his cognitive abilities, at the source of complex decision-making, daily lot of Leaders -leaders, managers …-.
Stress prevention equips individuals and teams with the means of understanding and action, and thus contributes to the prevention of burnout, burnout , turnover. Information about your cerebral and physiological modes of functioning helps to clarify your resources and modesof action. The debrief carried out with your coach allows you to develop tracks to develop them, tracks to be deployed in coaching sessions afterwards.
The Cognitive & Emotional Assessment presents two ways of access:
cognitive: what you know you’re doing, how you function…, measured by questions
physiological: your body’s reactions, measured by skin moisture sensors, pulse, during the virtual reality experience
How is the Balance Sheet going?
The assessment consists of different phases:
an online questionnaire -20 minutes-
a virtual reality experience -40 minutes-
a restitution -2h-
it is followed by coaching sessions, in order to refine the links between the results, the situation experienced and your coaching objectives
The Cognitive & Emotional Assessment is a diagnostic element of a coaching course, which allows you to quickly access information about your cognitive, emotional and social skills. Three fields of expertise that allow you to navigate professional life.
During the restitution with the coach, you will discover or clarify your strengths, and co-build the axes of development of capacities useful to your project, or to your coaching objectives.
The following coaching sessions allow you to implement and anchor the changes resulting from these development axes.
How does the Virtual Reality experience take place?
VR makes it possible to stimulate the brain in different modes – concentration and relaxation, stimulation by playful situation, to measure its characteristics. Its restitution with the coach makes it possible to transfer these measures into useful learning in your professional life, according to the objectives of evolution that you set for yourself. The different modes of stimulation are in particular those of the confrontation with the novelty and the intense situations -overload, difficulty, pressure, stress …-, as well as the modes of recovery.
Cardiac coherence: measurement of the ability to enter into coherence, relax, modulate breathing
Space Stress: It also measures the level of attention (selection of relevant information), inhibition (occultation of irrelevant information) and flexibility (ability to switch from one action to another).
Sonification: ability to relax, openness to oneself, listening to one’s body
the leversof action, in the management of emotions, risk-taking, tolerance to uncertainty.
This data measured individually, and for a team, is compiled into a Group Mapping, which gives visibility on the state of the team and allows you to co-build avenues for reflection and action on strategies in the face of your development objectives and current challenges.
Resilience Mapping, happens individually online via serious questions and games. Two types of situations that stimulate the brain and measure data – thoughts and actions. The test lasts 20 to 30 minutes.
We have, as human beings, basic needs.
Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are signals of what is happening between these needs and our reality.
OpenMind Neurotechnologies has developed resilience mapping, building on the most recent neuro-scientific foundations and 5 years of research and development.
In a supervision space, supervisor and supervised(s) explore elements of coaching. Let's focus here on active listening.
Supervision and coaching are privileged relational spaces for the work of active listening.
What is active listening (skill 6)?
In the terms of the ANC, active listening is listening on two levels: containing and containing. With other models of human understanding, listening focuses both on the story that is told, the situation that is reported, and on the mechanisms underlying the story and how it is staged in the narrative. With possibly the recurrences that the coach notices in his client.
It is active in the sense that the coach, or the supervisor, reformulates what he has understood – which is only his vision of reality – and questions the rest. And listening is also active in the sense that the coach or supervisor works with signals, emotional, energy field, silences … Signals from its interlocutors and internal signals from its own antennas. The ability of the coach to confront his client while remaining naive – or in the non-knowing, non-judgment – is key in this active listening. And since it is a question of confronting, it also refers to the relational contract (competence 3), which has made it possible to clarify the relational style that explicitly suits the client or the supervised. Or the ability to raise awareness (skill 7).
When formulating coaching goals, the client often asks for advice on how to accomplish this or that. How then to welcome both his request, which is a manifestation of his representation of coaching and his ability to clarify his objective and clarify the difference between consultancy, coaching, therapy, facilitation? How to use appropriate language to be heard? To meet the customer where he is, and accompany him to go where he wants? Or even to keep the freedom to position oneself in front of the customer as not being the right resource to meet his demand.
Privacy is also an essential part of the coaching space. It is one thing to verbalize it, it is another to ensure that it is effective. Both in the information exchanged verbally and in the information exchanged by electronic or other means (what are the general conditions of sale of the coach, how is he able to guarantee to his client – beneficiary of coaching, payer of coaching – his processes of conservation or deletion of data.
This also touches on the issue of consent. How to ensure that in the relationship with the customer, his consent is key, in the moment and in the long term?
This question is also to be clarified by considering “the client” as the beneficiary of the coaching, or as the company’s stakeholder(s) involved in the coaching (HR, manager, etc.).
Focus on the Coaching mindset (Skill 2)
A coach in a supervisory conversation tells how she prepares her sessions and imagines in advance what she will do as exercises with her client. By unfolding the situation, she becomes aware of her fear of not being up to the task, the lack of confidence in her coaching abilities, her questions about her legitimacy, and the fact that this preparation blocks the session in a pre-written scenario, underpinned by pre-judgements, in contradiction with the “dance with the client” or the co-creation of the content of the live live session. All boosted by judgments, towards herself ‘I am not competent enough’ and towards her client ‘she needs this’.
Through SuperVision’s reflective practice, this awareness leads him to work on his sense of competence (Emotional Governance), on the client’s responsibility in the session, on the co-management of the session (Adaptive Governance and Assertiveness).
This path is typical of the progression of the young coach just out of training towards a maturity that is refined over the course of the practice. The embodiment, or personification of the Coaching state of mind is a process that takes place over time. And this is what is evaluated in the external certifications/accreditations of coach associations, with different levels of coach maturity. It also refers to the question of the ethics of the coach or supervisor (Competence 1), who is responsible for his reflective practice, supervision, professional development and maintenance of skills with external and independent advice.
In a supervision space, supervisor and supervised(s) explore elements of coaching.
Let's focus here on the state of Trust and Security in the session.
Supervision and coaching are privileged moments to experiment and think about the installation of confidence and security in the coaching space (competence 4).
The trust and security of the coaching or supervision space is essential. Indeed, difficult to address sensitive subjects, if you do not feel safe, or if you have slept badly, or if you are hungry. Indeed, our brain manages priorities! The need for security is a fundamental level of Maslow's Pyramid, which when filled makes it possible to address the following, those of social connections, the need for fulfillment and the need for self-realization.
How do you clarify with your client his needs, on each floor, and more particularly in terms of relational security and trust?
How do you embody these skills?
How do you perceive warning signs of insecurity or lack of trust?
In a supervision space, supervisor and supervised(s) explore elements of coaching.
Let’s focus here on the status of the Contract in the session.
Supervision and coaching are privileged moments to experiment and think about the installation and maintenance of the coaching contract (competence 3).
A coach wants to work on her discomfort with coachees who do not engage or not really engage in their coaching.
We explore how it installs and proposes engagement. On very concrete aspects, such as the coaching contract, the moments of adjustment, as well as on relational aspects, in particular the coach’s brakes to question this space of the coaching relationship.
What is your freedom to question your client about their real goals (Competence 7)?
To work with your discomfort, your fear of losing the customer because it goes wrong? Your emotional governances – avoidances, compensations, values – in ANC language.
To work with a client who “abuses”: who postpones his appointments repeatedly, who pays late, who arrives late, who does not do what he had committed to do in his action plan, who changes his objective, who “goes in all directions”…
In a supervision space, supervisor and supervised(s) explore elements of coaching.
Let's focus here on emergence in the session.
Supervision and coaching are privileged moments for emergence.
What is emergence?
Depending on the points of view and metaphors, this can be the tip of the iceberg, which appears because one pays attention to it, it can also be what happens and what one did not expect and which one becomes aware of (skill 7).What arises… "pop"… in our mind or body, in an energy that can be very calm, as very sparkling or even gushing!
Emergence is the culmination of a journey from the known to the unknown, where the skills of letting go, curiosity, changing looks, connecting to feeling, being present at what is here and now are very useful.
From this first phase of travel emerges, during the second phase, another way of perceiving and seeing things, a new approach and putting into action with these new data.
For example, in a session, a coach realizes, via a scenario in the supervision space, that his posture in the space with his client acts contrary to the stated objective of his client. From this awareness was born an idea of different action at the next session. Next session completed, the coach testifies to the awareness of the client, and the acceleration of the progress towards his goal.
Parallel processes are a matter of work, which from what happens in the supervision space, makes it possible to reveal what is happening in the coaching space and which is not necessarily totally conscious for the coach and a fortiori the client.
In ANC terms, for example, a governance "in compensation" of the client can resonate with that of the coach and with that of the supervisor. And it is this emerged part that allows you to work on the immersed parts for the coach and the client. In a way, a cascade of governance. Or, to use a term of psychology a transfer and a countertransfer.
An example of a cascade is that of the search for recognition. The client vis-à-vis his coach "tell me that I am a good client", the coach vis-à-vis his client "tell me that I am a good coach", the coach vis-à-vis his supervisor "tell me that I am a good supervisor"…
Hence the crucial importance for the coach and the supervisor to work on his governance in compensation (Competence 5), in order not to be the toy but rather to use it for supervision and coaching work.